Best Coincidence Ever
Phoenix is just a few hours from Las Vegas, which is one of the reasons Dan and I travel there so frequently. Unfortunately, the road between the two cities is what one would call “sparsely populated.” The two most common living things between us and the bright lights of the Strip are saguaros and Joshua trees. There are exactly three viable stops: Wickenburg, Kingman, and a wide spot in the road called Wikieup.
On a recent trip, the love of my life failed to realize that he needed to make a pit stop in Wickenburg. About halfway to Wikieup, he started looking for a side road off of US-93. Now, there are side roads all along this route, but you really have to know where they are in order to slow down for the turn onto them. They aren’t clearly marked; if you have any business going down them, you know exactly where they are. I spent the next twenty minutes saying, “There’s one,” as we drove past it at seventy miles an hour.
Just as the situation turned critical, we spotted a reasonable turnoff. Dan slowed down and made the turn, only to come up against a closed fence and “No Trespassing” sign. To top that off, the owner of the property was patrolling in his Rhino. He gave us the stink eye as Dan, cursing irritably under his breathe, turned the car around and headed back onto the highway. One has to wonder if he has a lot of problems with people peeing on his fence posts.
Luckily, within another five minutes though, there was an actual turnoff – one with a paved road and everything. The sign said the road went to Baghdad; all Dan cared about was that it went somewhere more remote than the main route to Las Vegas. As soon as he made the turn, we spotted the tour bus that was parked a few hundred yards away. Grumbling, Dan drove further on the road until we came to a sharp bend. Right at the deepest part of the bend – leading off between two “arrow” signs – Dan thought he saw a dirt road. I, on the other hand, did not. As he slowed to make the turn, I stopped him.
“That’s not a road.”
“Yes,” he answered, “it is.”
“I don’t think so.”
He gave me the long-suffering-spouse look and continued down the paved road. As soon as we were even with the now-obvious dirt road leading away, I said, “Oops. You were right.”
If he were a different kind of husband, he probably would have hit me.
In any case, he continued down the road a little further. Seeing no other reasonable places to pull off, he turned the car around and went back to the dirt road at the sharp bend. We went a few hundred feet down it before Dan exited the vehicle. As soon as he did, we both realized that anyone currently on the tour bus would easily see us up on this road. But he could wait no longer – he walked to the far side of the car and relieved himself.
Meanwhile, I decided that I would like to hear some music. I hooked my iPhone to my car radio and hit the random button. Cat Stevens’ music filled the cabin: “Can’t Keep It In.”
I don’t think I stopped laughing until we could see Wikieup.