It’s a Dog’s Life

by swellsbennett

If there were such a thing as reincarnation, I would want to come back as a dog. More specifically (and more improbably), I’d like to come back as one of my dogs.

This is the world according to Dewey, our six-year-old Shih Tzu:

“If I jump against Mom’s leg enough times, she will get up and figure out what I want, whether that is outside, food, water, or attention.”

“I don’t know who that guy in the blue uniform* thinks he is, but when the light in the living room comes on, I know he’s about to show up. If there weren’t a door between us, I’d teach him not to mess around outside my house!”

“If I want up on the bed, all I have to do is go to Mom’s sideand she’ll put a hand down to help me up. She’s helpful that way.”

“The guy who lives with Mom is always good for a snack. Anytime he sits down in the living room with food, it’s a good idea to ‘sit pretty’ and wait.”

“There’s nothing better than a good brushing – Mom gets all the itchy spots for me.”

“I’m not sure why Mom thought I wanted a brother for my birthday, but Truman is all right – for a puppy. At least he’s small enough that I can sit on him if he gets annoying.”

And now, our puppy Truman’s thoughts:

“If it’s on the floor, it’s MINE!”

“WORLD DOMINATION is within my grasp – if only I had opposable thumbs!”

“It was so thoughtful of my human subjects to have a companion here waiting for me. Dewey the Serf makes an excellent subject on whom to hone my attack skills.”

“I do not understand why the serf receives his treats before I do. I can only assume it has something to do with charity.”

“No matter how late YOU fall asleep, I, Emperor Truman, demand that my subjects rise and pay obeisance at four each morning! This includes YOU!”

“Why is my perch** so high? I enjoy surveying my kingdom from it, but regret that I am unable to descend without assistance.”

“The tiny gray jail*** the woman sometimes puts me in is not strong enough to contain me. I know that I will one day dig my way out.”

“Gates are no obstacle to me! I laugh in the face of gates! Wait…I think the gates are getting lower…” (as he bangs his head loudly against bottom rail)

“Thou seekest to dominate me, oh Brush of the Infidels? You will never win! I will not surrender to your siren-like qualities! Charge!”

*Also known as the mailman.

** Dan’s and my bed.

***The plastic kennel next to our bed.

Dewey (with his tongue sticking out) and Truman.